Untold Defiance
by Jango27
Summary: Garret must sense his indecision. "What," he asks. "It's not a weakness, is it?" The five times Grant Ward disobeyed orders, and the one time he didn't need to. Series of one-shots, some scenes from the show, some original. Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, so this is that series of oneshots that I mentioned in my other story, The Rising Darkness. They're completely unrelated, I've just had this idea floating around in my head for a while and decided to see where it goes. Anything you have to say would be great :) **

**I'm going to post the first two chapters in one go, and see what the general feelings are so... hope you enjoy! **

**As always, I don't own Agents of Shield, or any of its characters. **

_{When he doesn't take the shot}_

The first time Grant Ward went against what Garret told him was in the woods, right before he was taken to the Academy. At the time, he supposed, he was still relatively young (though that hadn't been much of an excuse beforehand, let alone now), eager to please the person that had torn him out of his old, crappy life and shown him that no one's future is set; it can change in a heartbeat.

Maybe it was because of his age then, or the fact that he'd gone without human contact other than one man for years, but when Garret tells him to "take care of Buddy," Grant finds himself freezing.

He doesn't bother asking if he'd heard wrong. There's a cold, calculating look in the older man's eyes that makes him realise that this is another one of the challenges that he has been presented with in the time he'd met the agent. But for God's sake, this isn't just like asking him to build a fire or hunt for dinner. This is Buddy, his only constant companion through the storms and sweltering heat they encountered in the woods.

Garret must sense his indecision. "What," he asks. "It's not a weakness, is it?"

Of course it is, 'cos it's his freaking dog for crying out loud, not some rabbit or deer. He's not about to put a bullet in Buddy's head. He's all about ready to storm away, or yell, or throw a punch- but then he meets Garret's eyes and God, he swears Maynard had exactly the same condescending look, the one which says '_of course you can't do it, when have you ever had the guts to do anything?_'. And he finds himself shaking his head.

_No, _he tells himself, _it's not a weakness, I have no weaknesses, I don't care about anyone anymore._

Slightly dazed, Grant feels Garret claps him on the shoulder and watches as he moves toward the truck, fully confident that Grant will be following him once he's finished.

Grant's left alone, and for God's sake the damn dog is still sitting at his feet, his tongue lolling out because he doesn't have a damn care in the world except what's going to be for dinner.

Grant draws a small handgun out of his pocket- one of the very first things he stole during his time in isolation- and points it at Buddy. He can feel his hand shaking, but he pays it little heed. His focus is solely on the dog at his feet. His mind is a whirlwind; memories of Maynard and the things he'd done and said to Grant and their little brother continuously play out in his head; for several heartbeats he can't seem to separate reality from memory.

Ward tries to convince himself that by pulling the trigger he'd be letting go of his past. He wouldn't be weak; he wouldn't be a coward who beat up his younger brother just because he couldn't stand up to the older. He'd be a new person; capable of doing anything, being anyone. Garret would be like his new father and together they'd show up anyone who dared underestimate them.

All he had to do was pull the trigger.

So why was he hesitating?

In the end it's Maynard that makes Grant slowly lower the gun until his hands hang limply at his side, because if there's one thing he knows it's that he would die before ending up like his older brother (years later, when the blood of the people he's killed seems permanently stained into his skin, he'll look back at this moment with a painful irony).

So instead of shooting a bullet into Buddy's head, he fires into the air, once, a harsh and brutal sound echoing through the quiet of the woods, and watches as Buddy bounds away.

Saying that he killed Buddy is the first lie he told Garret, and Grant hates himself for it. Not for lying, he has a fleeting impression that this will hardly be the last bluff he's ever told to the older man despite the gratitude he feels toward him. Grant tells himself it was a weakness he'll never have again.

He never does see his old dog again.

He does keep a bullet still, hidden deep at the bottom of his bag, to remind himself of the one life he spared.

* * *

><p><strong>So I know that was really short (next few chapters should be longer, this was probably more of a prologue). <strong>

**Let me know what you think! (or not..), but thank you for reading, regardless :) **

**-F**


	2. Chapter 2

**And without further ado...**

_{When he doesn't report back about her}_

Once he joins SHIELD Ward rarely sees Garret anymore. It's only ever briefly, between ops and under the premise of a sentimental SO visiting his old rookie. But never once does Ward consider running, not when he owes Garret so much.

He only now understands the gravity of their lies, only now realizes the depth of their betrayals. It's practically the first page in the SHIELD handbook; Hydra was formed by a half-mad scientist with insane ideals. Hydra was evil. All its followers were too. But those words mean little to him. He's not in it for Hydra or titles or anything, he just needs a way to save Garret; the man that saved him. But all the same, SHIELD is supposed to be the final line against all the crazy shit in the world, but wasn't there that person that said a shield is only as good as its weakest link? Did they realise their organisation was crumbling from the inside?

Ward (that's what he answers to now; not Grant, just Agent Ward) supposes he should feel exhilarated to be an agent of a secret organisation inside another secret organisation, but he just can't help but feel… distant. Every agent he comes across, every person he works with, he can't help but feel '_I might have to kill you, and you, and you._'

* * *

><p>It's almost seven years later when Garret approaches him with a new opportunity, one which will place him in a much better position for the inevitable fallout.<p>

Turns out Agent Phil Coulson hadn't died in the attack of the Helicarrier as they'd all been told. He was very much alive, and putting together a small team of agents. They needed a specialist and Ward, despite his terrible people skills and questionable loyalty, looked perfect for the job.

"I need whatever bought Coulson back to life to save me, kid," Garret told him when he approached with the job. "Report back to me about everything that happens on the plane. We need to know what other crazy-ass shit they're hiding."

Ward nods, because what else would he do? Garret's dying. They both know it, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. Inch by inch, cell by cell, his body was deteriorating from the inside. The only thing that could save him was whatever drug was coursing through Phil Coulson's veins, and Ward would do anything to find it.

Garret grins. "And use your head, kid. If you think any of those agents might be a possible recruit, just give us a yell. Those two scientists, perhaps. God knows we could use some young blood in here."

After a few days Ward has everything mapped out; Fitzsimmons were undeniably close, so save one and both would irrevocably trust him. The Cavalry would be a bit harder, but Ward figured even the coldest agents had moments of weakness, moments when all they wanted was another human being who was just as screwed up as they were, he'd just have to wait for her weakest moment.

Everything was planned, except for her.

With a snarky attitude and childlike enthusiasm, Skye was everything Ward was against: reckless, undisciplined, and unpredictable. But, most importantly, she had no family and according to Garret this made her a prime candidate for a Hydra recruit.

And so Ward agrees to be her SO. God knows Skye could use the training at any rate, and at first it's infuriating how, despite his years of practice, he can't seem to get any read on her. She's always does the opposite of what he would've done, to the point where she's practically injuring herself when they spar. And yet somehow she sneaks up on him, and he finds himself revealing a part of his nature he'd long thought gone.

Telling another soul about what happened between him and his brothers? Actually starting to rely on someone else's presence to keep him grounded? They were supposed to be thing's he abandoned when Garret broke him out of prison all those years ago.

And then he sees it one day, when he's teaching Skye the proper way to get out of a chokehold. Fitzsimmons had broken the aircon a couple of days earlier, in an attempt to direct all the cold air into their lab so they'd have the perfect temperature for whatever cellular process they'd been investigating at the time, and the air where Ward and Skye are practicing was hot. Stiflingly hot. Enough so that after about half an hour they're both pulling off layers until Ward's shirtless and Skye's wearing nothing but a sports bra and leggings. Ward tries to ignore the heat that flood his cheeks at the sight of her tanned skin, and turns aside to wrap his hands for a go with the punching bag. Out of the corner of his eye he watches as Skye downs a bottle of water like a man who's been stranded in the desert for months. He catches sight of a scar on her back, thin and long and running the length of her ribs to hips.

The question has fallen from his lips before he can even think.

Skye whirls around, choking slightly with surprise. "Everyone has scars, Agent Ward," she says slightly breathlessly, her usually playful brown eyes intently guarded.

Ward drops the strapping on the bench and approaches her slowly. She doesn't make a word of protest when he places a hand on her shoulder and turns her gently to examine the old wound closely. Goosebumps appear on her skin at his contact, despite the soaring temperatures. He runs a finger along the raised skin on her back and wonders what kind of injury she could've possibly gotten that would leave a scar like this.

When he looks up at her again, her eyes are filled with memories and her whole body's rigid with a tension that radiates off her in waves. She's still silent though, and Ward suddenly decides that he doesn't need any more of an explanation.

She gives it to him freely anyway.

He's halfway across the room when she starts to talk.

"I was eleven," she says, her voice full of implications. "The foster family were dicks. Mother was hardly around, father was drunk off his ass every other day… the usual story."

Ward doesn't say anything. He doesn't actually know what he _could_ say, to be honest.

"Nothing actually happened," she rushed out, "I just got in the way one time… he pushed me into a mirror. He was in prison a week later."

Ward turns. "And that little girl? What happened to her, Skye?" He's surprised at how low his voice is.

She looks him dead in the eye, shrugs, and says simply "I moved on. I didn't hold any expectations for foster families after that, that way they exceeded them all."

Ward's rendered speechless, struck dumb just by how differently she sees life. Skye smiles again and gives him a small pat on his shoulder as she moves towards the stairs. "Don't worry, tin-man," she calls over her shoulder, "you're breaking all my expectations too."

* * *

><p>Ward convinces himself that by telling Garret Skye wouldn't be a potential Hydra agent is the truth, and it is, to some extent. She's reckless and unconventional and Hydra's nothing without discipline and loyalty. Ironic, considering loyalty to his teammates is something Ward is constantly discouraged from.<p>

Maybe he just doesn't want her life to be filled with irony too.

* * *

><p><strong>So that's the end of chapter two. Please review to let me know whether I should continue with this or not. Remember this is a five-shot thing, and I've kinda got an idea for the rest of the scenes, but if you have any recommendations, let me know!<strong>

**THANK YOU! **

**-F**


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